In this episode I learn what “crazy” really means in prison. You’re not crazy if you’re playing with your shit, painting with it, acting out with it, using it to …
Early August doesn’t hit me with outside blows — it turns inward. Melancholy settles in like fog, and self‑punishment becomes a daily ritual I perform without hesitation. I move through …
Late July hits me like a series of blows in a mismatched prize fight — me on the ropes, bruised, bleeding, and getting clobbered. The shock denial, the fear of …
The days take on a strange clarity here, as if everything is arriving in a deliberate sequence—books that echo one another, letters that land at the exact moment I need …
In this episode, I leave RCOD for the back buildings, and the world shifts in ways only someone who has lived confinement can understand. These entries capture the shock of …
These entries capture the moment when the core — the truest part of me — rose back to the surface, and the current — the force of surrender — began …
In this episode, I return to July 4th weekend in 2014 — the first time I saw Grace after more than nine months apart. The anticipation, the quiet morning, the …
Season Two begins with my first days at Bedford Hills Correctional Facility — a place that felt nothing like Rikers. The bus ride was hot, the intake was exhausting, but …
For this Felonist Friday, I’m opening the archive. At the end of the Rikers Diaries — and throughout the Bedford Diaries — I kept talking about my Rule of Prayer, …
In Up and Out: On My Way to Bedford Women’s Correctional Facility, the Felonist steps into the final, disorienting hours of her Rikers chapter—packing up her belongings, organizing her prayers …
The Felonist finally confronts the collapse she has been circling for months and names it for what it is: a failure so total it strips away every illusion of control, …
In Becoming Other – But What Exactly?, the Felonist enters the most liminal chapter of her Rikers journey—the moment where she can no longer return to who she was, but …
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